


you, are you listening to me?

by luneist



Series: steward!au [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: A lot of Flashbacks, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bracelets, M/M, bringing back up things in their past, happy but sad, hgirewoa sry not sry, inspired by one part of a loona mv, just needed some angst, mainly jisung whos walking around here, mentions of felix - Freeform, minho's spirit visits jisung, no angst no life!, side story of fly me back (into your embrace), the words in bolded italic are things minho wrote in his spirit form, the words in italic are flashback scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 00:06:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14580612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luneist/pseuds/luneist
Summary: (SIDE STORY OF FLY ME BACK (INTO YOUR EMBRACE))minho comes to visit jisung and knowing that his boyfriend can't see him, he decides to do things that he did in the past to lead jisung somewhere.





	you, are you listening to me?

**Author's Note:**

> italic words = flashback  
> bolded italic words = things minho wrote currently

a year.

a whole year since minho had left this cruel world, turning the apartment into nothing but shades of black and white for jisung. it wasn't that jisung had turned colour blind from minho's death, but it just hurts so much that he feels like his grasp on his own world had loosened, and that precious world was taken away from him, never returning. that was exactly when jisung felt about minho's death. from the day minho stepped out of the house on that day to the day until present, his heart still aches and he misses minho very much.

the apartment no longer feels lively, but felix tries to help jisung out, forcing the latter to hold parties at his house some times.  _"you can't live your life like that, you have to move on,"_ the steward had told him. jisung isn't going to blame the steward for his words, because felix also felt that same pain in himself when the former had to break the news to him. those words just ruined the steward's happy moment in taiwan, and jisung still feels like blaming himself. but what can he do? if he doesn't tell felix, felix will find out sooner or later. better to break it to him then lead him on, deceiving him and letting him believe minho was still alive.

in their room, everything is still intact. from the picture minho painted and framed on the wall to the small jar of little paper stars he made out of boredom, jisung kept it there. in perfect condition. he didn't let anyone break those, didn't let anyone take those away. they were fragments that were dear to his heart. the fridge still has a random customised minho had bought with jisung's money out of the blue, that picture from their first date, the grocery list that minho wrote on for countless times. sometimes, jisung still can see him scratching his head, leaning against the fridge as he tries to figure out what other supplies they need. of course, he would laugh and minho would notice, heading towards him and squeezing his cheeks and pout. 

sometimes, jisung still can feel those pair of warmth hands squeeze his cheeks. he can feel the warmth that radiates across his entire face, how soft minho's hand are against his cheeks as he cups them. 

he really wishes that those hands would come back, and just let him experience it again. but it wasn't going to happen. 

with the first year coming up, jisung decides to write a long, lengthy letter for minho. of course, minho can't practically come out and read it, but jisung hopes that he's just all happy up there, living his angel life well and helping people out. he knows minho has a kind heart, he knows. his boyfriend would be up there, showing affection to everyone and putting on that bright smile he has on every single second. jisung knows, he just does. 

pens, papers and pictures are scattered on the table as he writes his genuine words down neatly, tears springing to his eyes and hanging on a thread and threatening to drop any time. but jisung swallows those back, focusing on his letter. it hurts, it really does, but he wants to be strong. he wants to be strong for minho. those pictures of him and minho smiling makes him weak, but he's not letting his guard down. 

in the midst of writing in silence, only the humming sound of the fridge reverberating through the apartment, jisung hears something fall and break. it sounded like a vase, and the only vase in the house was the one that provided the primroses a home. jisung makes his way over to the vase, realising that it had really fell and the vase had been broken into pieces. on the floor laid the primroses, still alive and blooming healthily. the water was splashed everywhere, making it a mess. sighing, jisung gets up to go clean up this mess, gathering the pieces into a dustpan and disposing it away. he let the flowers relocate to the kitchen counter, and give them a new home - a small glass. he can't possibly go out to a shop and demand for a vase. it was almost late night. the glass would have to take care of those primroses.

as he walks back to set the glass down, memories come into his mind, and tears almost spring up into his eyes.

_"i don't get it, why did you get primroses? ranunculuses look so much better in my opinion. the colours are vibrant, and their shades match each other. these primroses are just the same shade of yellow. i thought you would have a better taste in flowers, sung." minho mocks as they make their way back to their new apartment. jisung only snorts and holds the bouquet of primroses close to his heart, resisting the urge to lecture minho about the meanings behind flowers._

_"you see, primroses signify eternal love. just like primroses, i hope that our love will be eternal forever and neither of us will let go of each other. i don't just pick flowers because they look beautiful or eye-catching, minho. i want flowers that signify something, and i hope that we can make that true." jisung explains bluntly as he climbs up the stairs, fumbling for his keys. behind him, he can only hear minho laugh as the older opens the door, having stolen his keys. "well, i can't disagree. i do want our love to be eternal as well. and i promise to make that happen, babe." the older says as jisung strides into the apartment, letting out a laugh on his way to the kitchen._

_there were already orchids sitting in the vase jisung's mother had gotten for them when they first made this apartment theirs, and it stood there, almost dying as minho kept forgetting to water it daily. in minho's hands was this huge box and it could have been jisung carrying it, but he refused to. this led to the vase breaking, orchids laying on the floor and the water landing everywhere. minho only looked down and let a little "oops", proceeding to the kitchen after, as if it never happened. "hey," he speaks up as he sets the huge box of decorations down on the kitchen table, continuing after jisung turns to look at him, "i broke the vase by accident. this huge box knocked into it."_

_"minho!" jisung almost screams and minho's hands come up to his ear for protection. he expects a lecture from his boyfriend but the latter only sighs and pouts, giving him that "why are you always like this?" look, leaving the bouquet of primroses on the kitchen counter, making his way over to the doorstep to clean up the mess. picking up the orchids and disposing them since they were dying already anyway, jisung sweeps up those pieces in his hand and to his defence, minho runs over, almost screeching and he takes those pieces away from jisung, putting them into the bin. "idiot, can't you see that those pieces are sharp? they could cut you if you wanted to."  the older says, hitting the younger's head gently._

_jisung only rolls his eyes and mops the liquid mess as he rolls his eyes, "says the idiot who knocked the vase over!" that results in minho sending him a fake angry glare, and it only elicits laughter from the younger guy. fetching a random glass cup with hearts on it, he fills it with water and let the stems of those beautiful primroses submerge in it. "eternal love," jisung says softly, at a volume that could barely be heard._

_"that would be me and you."_

that sudden memory flash makes him almost cry, but jisung wipes up those tears. he's not going to cry over flowers, he wants to be strong for minho. "eternal love" sure didn't exist in front of him now, but it will always be in his heart, locking itself up there, not letting itself run out or ever leave jisung. jisung giggles a little, with a hint of sadness in him. surely that memory triggered something in him, but he remembers how funny it was as they chased and teased each other afterwards, ending up having to go for a second bath. 

out of a sudden, he hears a knock at his door and there's this paranoid feeling that creeps up. it's late night, who could it be? felix was overseas for work, and the australian guy had mentioned changbin would be in malaysia for business meetings. the other stewards and stewardesses had work overseas too, unless it was one of his friends or his mother? but his mother would usually call him to inform him of her presence later, so it was likely one of his friends.

when he opened the door, he was met with nothing but the night sky, stars shining in the almost pitch black sky where he doesn't even know the beginning and the ending. looking outside, he turns his head to the left then to the right, to be met with nothing but the blue mailbox minho painted and the green grass. looking down, he sees a brown envelope and a bracelet. 

and it's a bracelet that makes those tears come back.

bending down, jisung picks up the envelope and the bracelet, closing the door and making his way back to the table, putting the envelope down amongst his papers first. holding up the bracelet to his eye level, he squints his eyes and studies the details. it looks utterly similar to the one on his wrist, and he gets his one away from his wrist, comparing it. it's the exact same colour, with the same words engraved but at the sides of the bracelet he just picked up were little dents and dirt. jisung tries to clean it off, but it doesn't budge and go away and he decides to leave it as it is. it's minho's bracelet, that minho got for them once they got together. those dents and dirt signified his passing away and the car accident, but the engraved words remained there to serve as "eternal love". eyeing the envelope on the table, jisung puts the bracelet down and wears his own back while prying the envelope open, pulling out a letter. 

it's the exact same envelope and letter minho had given to him to confess, the exact shade of brown and the exact way the letter was folded. jisung knows, because it's still hidden away in the drawer beside their bed. unfolding the paper, he scans those words, and the letter isn't lengthy at all. in fact, it's just a few words.

**_meet me at banpo bridge._ **

widening his eyes, he puts the grabs his coat and slips it on, stuffing the letter, the bracelet and his phone as he switches off the electrical appliances and runs out, making his way to the bridge. those words appear in front of him as he goes over, and he's sniffing every second, on the verge of crying.

_there was a knock at the door. his parents were asleep and he was the only one awake, tidying up his files when the knock arrived. making his way over with a sense of protection, jisung opens the door to see nothing but a dark sky. looking down after scanning the surroundings for a good 30 seconds or so, he sees this brown envelope, holding a secret inside. to be safe, jisung picks it up and closes the door behind him, plopping down on the couch to read it. it only writes,_

_meet me at banpo bridge._

_those words are were in a neat handwriting that resembled minho, and jisung tilts his head, confusion in him everywhere. regardless of that, he puts on his coat and leaves a small note to his parents, informing them that he was going to meet his friend (crush) and that someone didn't kidnap him. jisung didn't want his parents to worry. work was already hard enough for them to handle, and having to panic over jisung's disappearance was just adding fuel to the fire._

_the house he lives in isn't far from the bridge itself, and jisung makes it there in no time. when he reaches there, no one is there and he decides to trail along the bridge, taking small but steady steps, hand touching the rail several times..._

.

when he reaches the bridge, it's still that similar array of bright colours pouring out into the water below him, and there's not a single person. with the same small and steady steps, he steps onto the bridge, hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat. silence reverberates throughout the area and only the faint sound of jisung's footsteps can be heard, as he makes his way to the centre of the bridge. with light coming from the little lights at the side of the bridge, jisung sees an exact envelope, another copy of the one in his pocket. 

making his way over steadily, he takes the envelope to feel nothing but emptiness inside it, and he proceeds to keep it. but as he looks down, he sees some words written on the rail in black marker, familiar neat handwriting, making the tears finally spill out and roll down his cheeks. 

_**jisung, how are you? you've noticed those past events, didn't you? the breaking of the vase, that letter appearing of you, our couple bracelet. i know you can't see me, but just know that i'm always watching you, and that i'll always be in your heart. i'm glad that you made it here, and not being a scaredy cat. i can be sure by now, you're 100% crying. i just know you too well, i guess. just like you, i miss you a lot too but i can't be present in current day. i wish i could, but i can't. maybe in further years, we could see each other again? i just hope you'll do well and continue being that strong boy i always know. just know that i'm here for you, and i'll never leave your heart. take those primroses as my promise.** _

_**love, your angel, minho.** _

tears drip down onto the railing, but those words stand strong and steady and they don't fade away a single bit. it hurts, it really does this time. he can't be strong this time. all he wants is to see minho again, just hug him and feel his actual presence. he wants to hold those hands, feel those warmth. jisung wishes he could turn his head and see minho's figure making his way towards him with a smile, speaking and bringing him into his arms.

_...jisung only stops when he reaches the middle of the bridge and sees this brown envelope sitting there. he takes it but to his disappointment, there's only emptiness inside. why would minho give him an empty envelope? scanning around for more hints, he finally spots words that are presented in the same handwriting, in black marker. leaning forward to read it, he raises his eyebrows._

_hey jisung! glad that you actually had the heart to meet me here. you should've figured out by now that i'm minho. i just wanted to tell you how amazing of a person you are, and that i admire every part of you. but let's get straight to the point! i led you here with the letter just to tell you that i've developed feelings for you. like i mentioned above, you're truly a breathtaking person. your heart, your face, your words are just so pretty that even your laugh is pretty. i was so glad when we became friends and had a strong bond. all those times we had classes and lunches together, i enjoyed it very much and my heart beat fast whenever i saw you approaching me. i know i'm not as worthy as you, but i really have these feelings for you and i hope that you can accept me._

_from lee minho._

_turning his head to the right, he sees this figure approaching him and for a split second, he thought he was going to get killed but jisung recognised the figure as minho and his heart relaxed. minho makes his way to him quickly, a small smile plastered on his face. "so? i'm ready for acceptance or rejection, mr. han. i'll respect your decisions at all cost. i swear." minho says, looking into the younger's brown orbs._

_jisung smiles a little too, looking at the older for a while before he nods and is enveloped into a hug, and he only laughs. minho sniffs a few times and he buries his face into jisung's hair, "god, i was ready for rejection. you're such a treasure that i thought i would be despised of. i love you, han jisung."  
_

_"i love you too, lee minho."_

turning his head, there's of course nothing but the silence and darkness, the water spraying out from the sides of the bridge. looking over those words, he sees another paragraph of words in the same handwriting and figures out that it's that confession letter minho had written. right beside the current one. tears only flow down more, and he really wishes he could be pulled into a hug by minho now, hear him say "i love you" to him. he really wants to feel that familiar warmth and let it spread through him.

. 

making his way towards jisung, minho smiles in pain as he sees jisung cry. the older didn't mean to make his boyfriend cry. he just missed him and wanted to give him those last words he never did and wanted to check up with him. standing beside him silently, knowing that jisung couldn't see him, he reaches his hand out to wipe those tears away and cup jisung's cheeks, tears springing into his own eyes when jisung suddenly jumps a little from the sudden warmth of his hands. 

"i still love you, and i will always love you." 

minho smiles at that smile jisung gives when the latter reaches up to touch his own cheeks, and jisung can't feel his hands but only his touch and warmth, and his heart melts for the younger boy once again. 

_he'll always be there for jisung._


End file.
